The Ride

"Enjoy the Ride"

The rain slipped down my nose and hit the saddle horn. I wiped a hand across my face just as a calf darted from the herd. The black little devil ran with his tail in the air, freedom bound for anywhere and nowhere.  My horse leapt into pursuit while I, caught off guard, grabbed for her mane. Sweat flying, arms flailing, hooves pounding—we caught the calf just as he veered away. My horse tried to make the turn, but she lost her footing in the mud and fell. I don’t remember the fall; I just remember being lifted out of the saddle and hitting my back—hard. When I woke up, I felt hot air on my face and hair tickling my cheek. I sat up making my horse step back. Climbing to my feet, I began to lead my horse by her reigns, but my brother rode up.

“Get back on,” he commanded.

“No, I’m not feeling very well,” I replied and kept tugging on her reins.

“Either you get back on that horse now, or you will never ride again.”

Photo by IFYR

I knew he was telling me the truth. If a rider fell and did not immediately remount, he would forever fear the ride. I placed a shaky hand on my horse’s neck thinking of what the ride meant to me; it was wind in my hair, her mane stinging my face, the pull of leather reigns in my hands, and the thrill of power controlled by a bar of metal. I couldn’t lose the ride. I stuck my foot in the stirrup, gathered my courage, and swung my leg over her back.

People experience falls in life as well. Life isn’t predictable and, sometimes, she turns too fast and you fall. I experienced some falls about a year ago—two in a row—that threw me down hard. At that point, I decided to forgive and forget. But I also decided to be cautious after those hurts by never compromising my heart again. Caution is not an evil decision, but God never called us to hide away from hurts. (He took Jesus through great hurt.)

Photo by Pony Express

For a year, I led life around by the reins. At college, I drew my circle of friends closer and found myself seeking the quiet places. God had taken two things out of my life for my good, but he had supplied me with an abundance of close friends, financial security, freedom, and family. Somehow, I didn’t enjoy any of it even though I had accepted the loss. My joy was gone.

I graduated from college, came home, found a job, and started to make close friends again.  But I was discontent. God had blessed me with much, but I couldn’t enjoy it properly. I felt as if He was telling me like C.S. Lewis wrote in his last book, “Child, you are not yet as happy as I have planned for you to be.”

Just this week, I was encouraged by a text from a dear friend about my lack of joy. She sensed that I was down and told me to “enjoy the ride.” But I had stopped riding; I was still standing on the ground holding the reins.

I began to count my blessings (as the song runs) and remembered how blessed I truly was. Life is rough; she isn’t kind. But God is kind and his “mercies endure forever”. It was time for me to enjoy the goodness of my God. 

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness.”

~Isaiah 61:10~

I didn’t want to live without joy. I decided that I couldn’t miss out on the ride and remounted.